Exploring the Language of Self Regulation 

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  • Mary Blake March 17, 2022, 4:05 pm

    I fully agree with the idea of understanding sensory processes as “normalized” however, in my experience the missing link is one that is somatic and experiential which helps to connect us socially and minimizes “othering” of neuro diversity. To reduce mis perceptions means choosing to “wonder” in order to sense the body’s signals and begin sharing our unique language ~ ing. I’ve created sensory rooms, kits and trained care providers for 36 years. I recognize how sensory tools in the classroom are mis understood as calming and then become a distraction from learning. The only way we can effectively choose “life skills sensory tools” is by developing individual and common social group somatic language. I worked with a  9 year old yesterday who described how she takes her own sensory break at recess to self regulate because she has to work hard socially with her friends who argue about playground games. She recognizes how to calm herself down before getting too frustrated. Her peers are upset when she leaves the game to go on the monkey bars or swings after communicating she needs to take a sensory break. Despite applying all her strategies, she said she feels badly because her friends say she’s outcaste for not playing their game.

  • Mary Blake March 17, 2022, 5:43 pm

    Did you know approximately 1 in 5 people are neuro divergent and the primary concern of this population is a sense of not belonging or loneliness?

    It’s a lot of work trying to make oneself “fit in” to a neuro typical “NT” ableist culture that simply doesn’t work well to support one’s sense of self agency.

    Who wouldn’t want to bend all the rules when one’s social self expression is constantly held back on behalf of a NT comfort zone because of systemic lack of understanding? Most people never realize a neuro atypical “AT” individual spends most of their time highly aware of others needs with a sensitivity built in as a survival mechanism. AT’s try harder to get along socially. AT’s are compassionate. AT’s learn the NT’s cultural language in order to be socially accepted by those who may assume AT’s lack empathy.

    Lack of empathy is caused by an overwhelming sense of loneliness or un belonging.

    Heart incoherence is a soul “dis ease” creating discomfort within the body and mind.

    So, what does it take for this to change?

    Courage to become fully oneself engaged with your whole body, mind and soul connected socially.

    It begins as an inner process of saying “yes” to learn how to become aware of your own body knowing.

    Because this process is individual and unique, there are many forms of support that are essentially ineffective without addressing embodiment to re establish the foundations based on the root cause.

    Once the root cause has been identified we gently support the physical, emotional and mental bodies to integrate healthy, long lasting, foundational pathways in preparation for learning new adaptive skill sets. Reaching the root cause early in a process of “dis ease” provides insightful understanding to prevent reinforcement of re occurring patterns within socially aware and compassionate environments.

  • Mary Blake March 17, 2022, 6:17 pm

    Remember it takes time to process. It’s somehow purposeful. Allowing neuro diverse populations space to learn and to express how THEY translate deeply sensitive energies supports their difficulty bridging NT languaging. This is why the labels are sometimes dangerous. It’s also very important to understand how the dynamic pattern of bullying needs to be supported with social inclusion. We need to become aware of how to advocate in order to receive what’s needed from each other in our communities.

    To communicate what can be understood and not become the victim or the bully, it’s imperative to be grounded naturally and to become skilled engaging with one’s senses. Speaking for myself, I’m privileged to witness the many small and large success stories daily among courageous neuro diverse populations.

    It’s exciting when we discover where it’s safe to speak with true authenticity, trusting that we know how everyone’s voice has a place to be heard. Everyone becomes inspired when we find supportive sensory and social spaces, encouraging us all to embody, grow, learn and to keep sharing our creative avatars.

    Healing tools help support neuro diverse populations because understanding the root cause allows neuro atypical individuals to emerge more fully in community. When the unseen and unheard parts of our creativity are met as whole, we naturally become integral participants of a larger ego system.

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